600 days ago I decided to take a break from alcohol. I woke up one morning after a night of drinking and came down with a cold. I thought I’d take a week off to help myself heal a bit… and well, that week led me down a path of self-discovery that I must have been eager to travel on, because I haven’t turned around yet.
I have come to the conclusion that I’m not my best self under the influence of alcohol. I become over-the-top, wildly deaf to the needs of others and incredibly ego driven.
To be completely honest, I don’t seem to have a massive issue with other substances. I find myself to be very productive, creative, and health conscious while using marijuana. Psychedelics have offered me amazing spiritual awakenings. I can even find balance in the simple pleasures that caffeine and sugar has to offer.
But alcohol, I’m learning, is not my friend. In fact, it’s the kind of substance that makes me lose friends!
How many apologies do we get in our life? I feel like we’re gifted with an unlimited amount of “I love you’s,” but “I’m sorry” can rack up some serious emotional debt. The past 600 days have been about claiming accountability for my previous actions, and paying a lot of my debts.
I’m realistic and understand that tomorrow may very well deliver its temptations, but in this moment, I’m happy. To briefly loosen alcohol’s suffocating grip is worth it, if even for a second of air.